Monday, August 16, 2010

Waist Expandable: Prime 16

As promised in countless past posts, Hans and Mendez visited Prime 16, with the purpose not simply to publicly announce the glory of the five dollar "student burger" and half priced beer, nor to memorialize happy hour and a restaurant concept in tasteful word. This review had special meaning for the two bloggers: It was their last meal before seeing the opening of the new Sylvester Stallone flick "The Expendables."

Near the New Haven green, Prime 16 offers a great burger for a reasonable price. These aren't your average gray fast food meat discs. These are reliable and unique burgers worth many visits. Think of the juicy, Prime 16 "student burger" as the Jay Z of burgers, untouchable. From Tuesday to Friday a special is offered where a burger with fries is five dollars. The burger is served at a perfect medium, so tender and full of good intention. Prime runs the special from two-thirty, to four o' clock, providing midday refuel. If you are happy hour savvy you will arrive late, around 3:50, say. Order the 5 dollar burger and wait until it comes out around four. At four you order your half-priced happy hour beer. Their burger is good, but, with a great tasting beer of your choosing, the burger becomes mythological good.

Prime 16's beer selection is vast in its scope of beer flavors; Strong Black Coffee porters to gag inducing blueberry ales with lilac flavored Pale Ales thrown in for good measure. None of these heralded beers are fit for Beer Pong, nor Jager bombing, which is not offered to help keep riff-raff out. Some beer taps are oblong plastic, some of solid stoic wood. One tap handles has a fishing rod, another encloses a globe. The staff crank these handles back and forth like factory workers keeping the Prime 16 machine, and two hungry bloggers alive.

They do have a menu featuring lamb, buffalo skirt steak, and fish burgers. The vegetarian offerings are a tad sloppy and uneven, lacking a structural integrity to hold them together. The non burger options of salads and grilled cheese please anyone with burger allergies. Keep in mind when ordering their pizza or wings, that Prime does burgers specifically and they do burgers well. The pizza Hans and Mendez had (half priced during happy hour) is comparable to Drake; limp, whack, and all about image.

After their wake up meal, the bloggers tightened their American flag bandannas. It was time for the movie event of their lives. "The Expendables" is Stallone's sly critique of America's capitalistic exploitation of financially inferior nations . Who else can take down a preacher of Individualism but a collective of military trained communists? Stallone and Statham hold your attention with screen charisma similar to that of John Wayne and Montgomery Clift. Dare we further say that Stallone has the cinematic eye of John Ford? That Scorcese has a new rival in the soundtrack department? Hans and Mendez have their resumes ready, Mr. Stallone. Perhaps food reviewers are on a cruise ship and its taken over by Russian spies. Hans, Mendez and their friend, you, fight and discover their plot to steal a borscht recipe. We win in the end, of course, but not without learning a lesson: Shaken is better than stirred.

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